Happy Wednesday Reader!

I hope you are well! In light of the season, today's issue reads a little different than what you are used to but shares a message I hope will resonate. As always, I welcome your comments and inquiries. Hit reply and share your thoughts!

Melancholy — a feeling of pensive sadness, typically with no obvious cause.

The gloomy, dark days of this time of year, coupled with the looming holidays have me in a mood.

While it seems everyone else is bustling about, making plans, wrapping gifts, and being happier and busier than ever, I sometimes find myself going within and feeling disconnected from the holiday season.

Melancholy instead of joy permeates my days.

During a recent lunch with a longtime dear friend, I was reminded that I’m not alone. As our conversation meandered through myriad topics, one loomed large — the overwhelming sense of loneliness we have observed within ourselves as well as amongst the people in our respective communities.

Loneliness, sadness, and melancholia are particularly prevalent this time of year. People may be mourning loved ones who have died, struggling financially in a material-focused world, and saddened that distance prevents them from spending the holidays with close family and friends.

I’m not sure about you, but when I feel lonely the last thing I want to do is tell someone. I certainly don’t want to be Debbie Downer!

I also fear what might happen if I am vulnerable. By sharing my feelings, I risk feeling worse than I already do because the response may not be what I had hoped or expected.

Sometimes I don't say anything because I don't even know what I want or need; I just know I want to feel better.

As my friend and I chatted, she told me about an event she held at her home where she invited anyone and everyone in her neighborhood. She was surprised when 40+ people showed up to share in an evening of poetry and camaraderie. These people wanted to be around others. They wanted to meet new people. They wanted to have fun. They wanted to be seen and heard. They were brave. They were open. They were engaged.

It’s no secret that loneliness is an epidemic. In a 2023 study, Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation, U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek H. Murthy wrote that “people of all ages and socioeconomic backgrounds, from every corner of the country, would tell me, “I have to shoulder all of life’s burdens by myself,” or “if I disappear tomorrow, no one will even notice.””

Some of the staggering findings in that study include:

• Lacking social connection can increase the risk of premature death as much as smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day.
• Approximately half of U.S. adults report experiencing loneliness, with some of the highest rates among young adults.
• In 1960, single-person households accounted for only 13% of all U.S. households. In 2022, that number more than doubled, to 29% of all households.
• In 2018, only 16% of Americans reported that they felt very attached to their local community.
• A synthesis of data across 16 independent longitudinal studies shows poor social relationships (social isolation, poor social support, loneliness) were associated with a 29% increase in the risk of heart disease and a 32% increase in the risk of stroke.

With more than half of U.S. citizens feeling lonely, I started to poke around online and came across a TedX talk called How To Get Rid of Loneliness and Be Happy that offers a couple of suggestions to combat loneliness.

1. Initiate a conversation with anyone and everyone you encounter in your everyday routine of life — the cashier, the restaurant server, the person next to you in line — everyone.
2. In those brief conversations, create meaning by sharing something that offers insight about who you are.

While on the surface these appear to be an oversimplified solution to a serious and pervasive problem, there's beauty in their simplicity.

In this world of people walking around with eyes on their phones and AirPods in their ears, we have the opportunity to ease loneliness for ourselves and others by seeing, hearing, and engaging with all who cross our path.

Regardless of how you are feeling this holiday season — merry or melancholy, happy or heartbroken, loved or lonely, or somewhere in between — you probably know someone else feeling the same way as you.

Be brave, be open, and engage.

You might just find that the gifts you give will come back to you tenfold and be infinitely better than anything else in Santa's bag.

I wish you peace this holiday season,

​

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